The Present!

The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post -L. Thomas Holdcroft

I gave myself a precious gift today; the gift of the present. For the past few weeks, I've struggled with accepting my decision to divorce. My ex is a kind, genuine, uncomplicated person. Life with him was easy and predictable. I've wondered how divorce affects my relationship with God and worry that my decision will cause me to lose favor in His eyes. He gave me a good person with whom I could share a life, and I traded it in for a big-ass question mark. Why?

I realized today that I am wasting my energy on regret. I can't think about the future, present, and past all at the same time. If I can't think about all three at the same time, which one should take priority? Breaking it down, I can't change the past. I can't buy my way out of the past, and I can't move people and events like pawns to redesign the past. Simply, I can't do anything about it but use it to make wise choices today. Thinking about the future is beneficial to a point. It's good to have goals and a plan to reach such goals. Nonetheless, I can't think the future into existence; I can only act now to create the kind of future I envision. Thus, what train of thought is the most beneficial and efficient use of my time? The present, of course! And what a present I give to myself when I make choices and act in a way that provides for the future I spend just enough time dreaming about.

In giving up regret, I give myself the gift of space to live the questions.

Thank you for sharing in this post.