The Land of And

A person much wiser than me shared a coveted token of knowledge; people who reach the highly sought after place of self-actualization live in the "Land of And." The Land of And is a place of endless opportunity and freedom of choice; it's where I can do "A" and "B" and "C" however and whenever I desire. It's like a lovely garden with all my favorite flowers. Everything in the garden was planted with a purpose, can be moved around how I please, and replaced or kept to my liking.

I've always known that the Land of And was a real, attainable place. However, until I made the decision to start living an authentic life, I was merely a window shopper. (Disclaimer: I am NOT advocating divorce as a means to an authentic life. For my journey, it was necessary.) Living a life in the Land of And, where I am solely responsible for the products of my decisions, brings triumph. The journey, nonetheless, causes me formidable anxiety at times. Some decisions are easy, and some are daunting. I've mentally jockeyed the idea of purchasing a home for quite some time. The questions about my ability to handle the responsibility are endless. However, one of the lessons learned in the Land of And (and the home-buying process) is that when I live an authentic life, opportunities that are authentically mine start to pop up anywhere and everywhere. The home I am currently working towards purchasing fits this point in my life more than my imagination allowed. While I haven't closed on the house yet and can actually call it mine, I learned that it's okay to let things come to me; I don't have to force my desires into existence. When I am living an authentic life, authenticity comes to me. In the past, I had a habit of manipulating things into existence, but when my cart is filled with all things Emily, its momentum will perfectly determine my direction.

I finally feel like I am spending less time in the wagon of my cart: adding, replacing, and catching things as they fall off, and more time in the driver's seat. The view is much different from this place! I wonder if this cart has cruise control??

Thank you for sharing in this post.

Building a Nest

"Success doesn't come to you...you go to it." -Marva Collins

One of the most terrifying - yes, terrifying - things about leaving my marriage was the understanding that I would be completely on my own. I have very close friends and a supportive family. However, they all have their own "nests" to tend to. By nest, I mean all the goings-on of life. You know, the finances, grocery shopping, dream-building, spirituality, visions, etc. It took me working through a few failed flying lessons to get over the idea that I would not have another nest to fly to once I left my marriage. Hah! That I had the audacity to believe that there would be a mass-produced Wal-Mart nest just waiting to receive me!

I learned that I have to build my own nest. I can't hire a designer, find a man, or get my mom to swoop in and piece together my life. If I don't build my nest, it'll never get built, or worse it won't fit me. Who else can be invested in me like I can? I believe that one has to go into him or herself in order to offer authenticity to self and others. God's will is that I live MY life...that I employ His gifts to their fullest. So, Emily's Nest is starting to come together. It's not perfect, but it's mine. It may resemble something more of an RV than ancient Buddhist temple, but that's ok. With truth and authenticity, there is also permanence.